My Going Away Party

Everyone slowly starts to gather for my going away party. It started off slow, but would end up being my greatest night in Africa. Throughout the month, Idiboy would both purposely and randomnly run into his old friends from the village where he grew up. His childhood friends were spread around in different parts of the city. As we came across them one by one he would tell them, "At the end of this month before he leaves, we're going to have a party for him, so we can send him off... proper way." There were drinks for the people that wanted to drink, smoke for the Rasta's, and a slaughtered goat for all. Idiboy had appointed his brother in charge of gathering all the things for the party. There were side dishes to go along with the goat, such as chicken, rice and so on. In the days leading up I remember seeing the goat outside our guest house. It hung out a couple days before it was slaughtered.

"Would you like to come out and see your goat"- Idiboy said the first day it was brought to the spot

It was a fine goat. Sidi, the owner of the 4 guesthouses also lived on the property along with some of his people, and we all took part in preparing the food and festivities throughout the day.

When the goat was finally ready that night I was anxious to eat. I had kept my stomach empty thoughout the day in anticipation of that goat. However, Idiboy was serving to everyone, and he gave me very little of that goat. It was then that I kind of realized that it was really important to him to show his old village-mates a good time that night, and make them happy; how it was a big deal for all of them spending the evening with each other after so much time apart. I appreciated that the night wasn't just a big deal for me, but for everyone involved. One of the guys there said something very nice to me during the party as we were sitting next to each other listening to the drums...

"We will never ever forget this night."

That comment really meant a lot to me.






My friend Idiboy gave me a nice gift, these traditional African clothes. Earlier in the day I didn't think to put them on. Idiboy insisted, he said, "Come on, where are your clothes, you have to wear them for the party tonight." It took me a little time to get used to them, but after this special night I became comfortable in my new clothes, and ended up wearing them more than anything else my last few days there.

Everything where I was in Africa grows on you with just a little time. At first it feels totally new and your mind can't capture it; but with a little prodding from friends, the environment pulls you in, and suddenly it all becomes a part of you. Often I had to turn my mind off and just experience. There is no frame of reference in one's mind for the things you may see in Africa, so you have to continously be willing to open yourself and experience things like a newborn.




In this video you cannot see the party or the drummers only the light from my porch. Sorry I was only using a cheap cell-phone video camera.

Still you can hear the noise of the drummers. One of the highlights of the night was the drummers. It was interesting how the drumming came about. I was sitting at the beach one of my days, when a young man came up to me and asked if I could help him before I went with some money. In this region, it's common for travellers to get asked often to give money, etc. This was a dude I had seen around many times, and talked to from time to time. There were a few people I was certain to give to before I left, but I honestly did not have it in my mind to give him anything. He was very persistent so I told him, "Later I will give you something". I felt kind of bad telling people, "later"..."later"... all the time, but when people are persistent sometimes it's the only answer one can give to continue on their way.

I mentioned the exchange to Idiboy and he told me, "don't worry, we will work something out". This guy would end up being one of four drummers at the party. And those guys really put on a show, the drumming was spectacular. I had gone to many drumming shows while there, but it was different not being at a show, where they are on stage and your at a table in the crowd. Here I was right next to them, in my front yard, people were dancing, joining in... even Idiboy ended up getting down on the drums and could hold his own with the best of them. Everyone was having a great time as the night heated up. At the end of the night, for their services the drummers just asked me to give something from my heart. I know whatever I gave was way more then I'd have just given him for simply asking me in public. So I guess this was one occasion where my conscience could be clean and I was able to make good on my promise to "give later".

The drummers had many songs they sung, they were songs learned growing up in the village. They would throw my name in at the right time, and personalize things. My nickname with Muslims is Ibrahim, so their song would go something like this...

"Home again
Home again
When Will I find my home again
Ibrahim we will miss you"